It recently occured to me that I am somewhat… Future-oriented. I don’t really dwell on the past much and I try to be “in the now” but really most of the time I am pretty preoccupied with trying to plan ahead. I guess I’m an idealist. Even though most things never turn out as planned, I think I get a lot of mental security by having some idea of what I can expect.
And now for the first time, since I’ve been conscious, I really have NO IDEA a what will be happening next year. It’s weird. I mean, I think being in school has sort of made it easier cause every year it’s been “oh I’ll be in X grade, and be in X classes” or “I’ll be in college in Seattle” or something along those lines.
2007 is sort of like the edge of a big cliff where the next step is so far I can’t even imagine it. I mean I can sort of come up with things that I’d like to happen, but nothing is based on anything solid. I don’t know where I’ll be living. I don’t know where I’ll be working. I don’t know who I’ll be living with. It is sort of unsettling.
Some other people are looking for jobs and internships already I think. I’ve been looking but I’ve been unsure about starting to apply. I don’t really think I’m ready for it, in terms of my portfolio at least. I think it’s easier for people who can just have a good resume of past experiences and don’t have to prove their worth with a cumulative body of work. Cause you can’t really go back and redo your experiences. But the portfolio needs massaging. I dunno though I sort of feel like I should start applying anyways. But on the other hand I don’t want to just start applying to a bunch of crappy things and accidentally get sucked down a bad path or something.
I suppose my life is at least a little easier since I get to graduate with a pretty good idea of what I want to do, where as a some don’t have as directly applicable degrees.
There is just a lot of uncertainty in my life right now, and it would be nice to have a little less. It will probably work out in the end.
3 Comments
Jayne,
I just wanted to tip my hat to you for posting personal stuff online and not seeming like a boring asshole. Even if my friends weren’t too big of jerks to absorb any personal stuff I might put on my blog without giving me a hard time, I doubt I’d have the courage to do it. So … you know … good work.
Mike Sheffler
PS: I finally got around to looking at seejayne.com . There’s a lot of really neat stuff in there. I imagine you use different tools for a lot of the pieces, but how did you, for instance, create the depth of field in the global warming piece?
Mike,
Glad you enjoy my ramblings, they’re really just there to help me work things out that are floating around my head.
About the global warming thing, are you talking about the exhibit design piece? We actually built the model and photographed it, so all that fancy blurring is just from my friend’s fancy Nikon camera.
From the camera. That’s hilarious. I guess I over-thought it a little.